As the part-time binge watcher that I am, I constantly stumble upon random TV shows. One show in particular that I found interesting is called #BlackLove on FYI network- I never heard of that network either until I came across this show. #BlackLove explores the lives of 5 single women in New York navigating dating and trying to find their own versions of black love. See trailer below:



Now if you know me, this would come to no surprise that I am watching a show called Black Love, as I am a huge supporter of the power, importance, and beauty in black love. What I enjoy about this show is the honest, true to life conversations and subject matter that is discussed. There was a conversation in which the women explored the reasons why they continue to long for black love and what the barriers are to them finding it. It was brought up that black men do not seem to value black love as much as black women do.


I had this same conversation this weekend with my friends and we came to the same conclusion as well. I’ve noticed a rise in IRC’s (inter-racial couples) a lot of them involving black men. No shade to IRC’s, love is love and if you are lucky enough to find it, more power to you. However, it is definitely noted that more black men are in IRC’s than black women. I even conducted my own “research” on the topic of black love.


I spoke with both black men and women and simply asked them to describe their ideal partner. Normally black men began with physical traits then character traits, not mentioning wanting their partner to be of a certain race unless prompted or questioned then the responses varied from “of course she has to be black” to “I don’t have a preference”. Black women on the other hand, normally lead with race, ideally wanting a black partner then proceeded to describe personality traits then physical traits. I can’t help but notice that black women seem to lead with race; at the top of the list for black women is finding a black male partner, or mentioning having beautiful black babies, and a strong black family. But this isn’t the same general sentiment for black men. It seems black men are more flexible in terms of race, while black women are more stiff.


Is black love still important to black men, as it is to black women?


What are your thoughts?


Are my observations, the endless conversations regarding the topic, and the growing trend of IRC’s proof that black men do not value black love as much as black women do? Am I making an over-generalization? Where does this leave black women? Should black women continue to exclusively seek black love, or expand our standards in race and ethnicity as black men do?


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